It Feels Like Something
by EMAD
Summary: So, one more post-Always story. Rated M for possible next chapters.
1. It feels like something

The light comes from the window, warmly fulfilling the room, caressing the walls, while the sleepy heads yet aren't awake.

Silence and calm after the storm, both outside and inside. All is even and freshly new.

A muss head slightly shows from under the blanket. Two blue orbits open.

Can't believe his luck. He woke to the smell, that familiar smell of cherries that he so much likes, and warmth. Wait warmth?

Can't believe what has happened the night glances around trying to get the pieces together.

His heart is yet a mixture of emotions, so sudden stopped after a long journey in a roller-coaster. Finally it has stopped. He smiles to himself. No, the journey has just begin. Their journey, the path that opened last night when he least expected it.

His eyes stares at her, the sleepy head beside him, all warmth and soft. Her features all relaxed now.

They hardly spoke, just little guidances and assurances between two lovers, but nothing else. No clue about what really happened to her. There was not the moment for it, and no need for it then.

All is silent. He can just hear the rythm of his breathing, and hers now more light than last night. A rythm that reminds him of an opening piano piece, building up slowly, bringing the whole feelings of a story which slowly wraps to the magistral end, the explosion and the lightnings which hide all the past shadows. He can't help to be so classic at times.

While he stares at her, a flow of memories fill his head, both sorrow and joyful.

Every time he has made her smile by saying something reassuring or just something random that distracted her of whatever trouble was bothering her, and their fights, their crucial fights when they couldn't held their tongues and all their frustration hitted the walls until they crumbled alone, painfully alone. He had expected them sometimes, but not the words like daggers, the sharp effect cutting on both them.

And yet they waited, held and healed one another even if they tried to push themselves away at the same time, just hanging on the hope for the other, on the expectation that the other is not that deeply stubborn. Even in their worst moments they kept the faith in the other, a tiny bit of faith, of magic that none can explain, the spark that lit since they met is yet alive after all those years.

He remembers the times they had to run for their lives, as when they deactivated the dirty bomb, and the time when they almost open to one another in LA but yet wasn't the right moment.

He has loved her so much for so long and couldn't stop the feeling even if he tried. Just half day ago he tried to delete her, all the memories they shared, he wanted them gone, he needed them gone, after he confessed her among his love the big secret that kept her alive, the deal he made to protect her, to keep her next to him even if she lied, even if she wanted him away, but that was coming from the promise he made her soon after they meet. "this time you won't be alone, we can do it together".

He remember their secret code, the times they held hands together even for a brief moment, as light as a caress. That kept him alive, gave him the strenght to keep going on, as long as he was near her all was good. He was fine with just that. They had grown to know each other as to know when they needed to step back, he gave her the space she needed when the snipper case and she was thankful.

They were easily approaching until the bombshell hitted home, she had lied him, and he felt more hurtful than when she was with Deming. After all those months she had lied to him, so long. He didn't knew what to do. Stupid of both none decided to comfront each other, but even wounded he kept around, even when he wore his old shoes for protection. He needed to feel safe in some way, he was selfish then, parading bimbos for the last time, probably the only time since he had fallen in love with her, surely since she knew he is the white whale, but both refused to recognize.

He had learnt to swallow her bitterly harsh words and attitude whenever he pushed her too much, was a hard punch, but nothing he can't take. If she could survive, alone by her choice, after the shooting, why can't he survive the suffer she put him through?

He felt bad whenever she put him aside, like after her shooting. Her heavy stubborness making her close to herself again to heal her wounds alone. She was always too independent to let he be around whenever she was hurt, but for that promise they made, solve her mother case.

He remembers the times she called him for a case, every time he answered quickly, but for her last phone call. He regrets none was brave enough to call each other other than for work matters. The times he wished to had help her more, just that she phoned him and tell him how she was feeling, whenever he knew some case they were working on was bringing issues of her, he would be willing to be there for her, just listening to her all night long, if just she would had invited him. Because he has let her set the rules, he worships her too much to say or do something that might bother her. Sure he loves to drive her mad with his random theories and his wit challenging her patience the most, but yet he didn't want to make her really mad, he just did so because he knew at the end a light await them, her smile that could shine among the darkest shadows and sure would guide him anywhere, together.

When she almost died in his arms, the bitter moment that woke him for months, ghostly nightmares that haunted his dreams until she met him again, she looked for him and coped with his expected angst, and when she shot her mothers killer to save him losing a lead that might had resolved the issue by now.

Their mother case, they will have to talk about it at some point, because was the issue that brought them closer but at times almost torn them apart for ever.

Because he had lost all his hope when she suddenly opened her eyes. This woman picked the times to twist everything, to give new senses to everything. She's been and always will be a constant mystery for him keeping him awake and alive. She knocked at his door, she did and there was no step back, she came all in. It was again one of the many times when she has paralyzed him with her words, she keep going on, as their first good-bye when she swayed gently down the street, until she noticied him frozen, stopped and turned just to ask him if he will follow her. Sure he will, always will follow her wherever she'll go, wherever she'll take him. Because at this point he won't discuss her rules, he has adapted to them, so he won't disagree with her just now, other matter is if the old rules will still work under their new status. Because all that means a new status, right? And then the doubts hit him hard, will he be able to make her happy as he once tried to say, on their fight at her place one year ago? He makes a mental note to himself, they need to get a place just for them, at least he needs to take her to his place, cause hers, were always the place where they fought so harshly they broke their heart every time, and every time one of them said it's over. Their soul couldn't believe their words, and yet a small spark kept in them.

And then he feels a hand caressing lightly his jaw, tiny fingerprints feeling his heat.

"Hey writer-boy" she says rising slowly to look deeply into his eyes, a smile spreading on her lips.

"Hey there yourself" he lowers his face to kiss her fingers one by one and holds hands together. "Slept well, Kate?" he says smiling, hesitating briefly about how to call her now.

"Not sure if we've slept much. But much well rested, Rick" she says and kiss him on the lips tenderly. He craddles her head gently to prolong the kiss. She gently caress his hair. He breaks the kiss for air, and she rises a bit more to kiss his forehead, her bare body so close to his, he bends slightly to kiss her bare chest, her scar. She doesn't hide or fear the moment cause it completelly feels right. She can feel his smile while he rise to capture her lips again.

Suddenly a noise startle them. It comes from the living room and his office at the same time, a melody in each, mixing wonderfully well, one wholy instrumental and the other with a strong manly voice.

"Alexis?" she asks at the same time he asks himself "Mother?"

"Alexis is with her friends, and mother was at the Hamptons." he clarifies.

The music keeps going on. Kate due to the use, looks for her yet turned off phone to check the time. She is the first surprised by the time it is she did no worry for phone calls from the precint until now. Wait she doesn't work there anymore, well she gave her badge and all but hadn't sign, still no new calls from work it seems just texts from her team wondering about her. She'll have to tell him and decide about that at some point. She needed some days off anyways, last night while in the swings the idea of changing career to Law crossed her mind, a fresh start. She is too absorbed by the memories she hadn't realized he has kissed her, put his boxers on and went to check the sound.

He doesn't remember that as of routine he and Alexis had set each radio to start at 10 am. The office welcomes him with the instrumental Kiara while living room plays It feels like something. He can't help to smile to the lyrics, so true to his moment. While the words reflect to his situation he gets lost and doesn't know she has awaken, wore his shirt and is now hugging him from behind. They kiss and have breakfast together. She is wondering and that surprises him, make him think of when she is angry analysing a paper at work, he smiles like an idiot each time.

"what is bothering you, Kate?" he can't believe he is allowed now to call her by her name. She caress his hand and coming from her wondering simply answers with a smirk.

"I was wondering if now you'll handle seeing me straddling a bike in black leather, Rick"

"That would depend on if you'll let me drive" he answers back with a smirk and bright in his eyes.

"Well, Rick. To be fair I will, after all you let me drove your red horse" she says resolutely and funny.

"You'll let me drive? Seriously?" he says startled by her answer.

"Yeah I will. Why wouldn't I, sexy nurse Rick?" she says with her russian accent. She can't help calling him by his name as much as she can now, because despite the bruises from her fight the day before that were now showing in the light although he seems hadn't noticied yet, finally they are just themselves, Kate and Rick. Finally together and fully ready to follow that road as the living room song said.

END CHAPTER 1

_A bit long but well here goes my first story here. I've never written fanfic before, and i mainly just thought the said song (which gives the title to the story) fits the thoughts i imagine he'll have._

_I'm not native english speaker and although i checked grammar and spelling it may not be perfect._

_If reviews ask for the story to continue i may write more chapters to that one although i wanted to try other plots next._


	2. Dreams in colour

**So here goes chapter two. I'll try to connect my other upcoming stories with this main one, but you still can read them separatedly. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Two red-haired prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Both gossiping about their week, until the younger goes upstairs, but the older one stops her.

"Darling, where are you going?"

"To wake dad, breakfast is ready" says the young one matter of factly.

"Let him have his time."

"But grans. We are due to head home tomorrow, we have yet to pack to go home and then tomorrow I need to move to Columbia. We better hurry"

"And you think he's forgotten? Darling you are his daugther. He knows you are moving, very well he does. Give him some time." says the older which now is behind her upstairs. Both open the guest room which again is empty and take a picture.

"How long will it take them to tell us the obvious?" says the young one.

"They took a while to be where they are now, give them their well deserved time, let them be. They will tell us when they are ready. You'll be there one day, and believe me you'll want your time"

"Oh Grans I don't. But seriously they are here for a week and hadn't told us yet what is going on between them. I'm not a kid anymore"

"You are right but are behaving a bit like one right now. being a bit jealous? She is not going to steal your father. She has just made him better."  
"I know, and i really like her. She is good for him. And I'm not jealous. Is just I'll be leaving home in a couple days."  
"Darling he knows that well and so he is giving you your time. He lets you go wherever you want upto to the time you want just as long as you tell him if anything goes wrong. He'll be there for you any time you need him, and i'm sure from now on she will aswell."

In that moment the bedroom door opens, appearing a smiling well dressed man and a joyful brunette still in her pijamas. Both freeze in place.

"Alexis. Anything wrong?" he says with a surprise look on his face, find in silence the brunette's hand and holds it gently.

" Nothing, just to let you know, both, that breakfast is ready."

" Thank you pumpkin." He says hugging her with an arm.

"Ok, no need to squeeze me dad." separates and turns serious "Remind you tomorrow we need to head home because I need to pack to go to Columbia. I need you take me there" looks at the brunette, the brunette shyly smiles and the red-haired smiles back.

"Darlings is getting cold you know" says the older one and both red-haired head downstairs.

"That was close, but is going to be fine. Relax Kate" whispers him.

"Ok Rick." she stops him and stares in his eyes "Are you ready?" he answers by kissing her tenderly. "You know I always am, Kate. Do you want I accompany you?" he offers while she crosses the treshold of the guest room.

"Good offer Rick, but If so we won't have breakfast until tomorrow. I don't fancy spoil their work" kisses him, he kiss her hand and goes downstairs.

While she gets changed into a blouse and jeans she reflects of the week past. The morning after she knocked on his door, they talked few. She excused herself to go home before Alexis was back. She feared the girl won't like that she is with her father now. Yes a woman that used to deal with scumbag criminals had a fear. She knows how close they are and doesn't want to ruin it. Rick offered her to go with him to the Hamptons for a week, seeing that she got suspended of her work for a whole month, and she had accepted.

She had phoned Gates, and Sir insisted that is a good cop, that she has given closure to many families, and Sir waits her back in a month with her whole team, to which Kate is yet hesitant. She has let go about her mom case for now, but doesn't feel like to go chase criminals again, she needs a break. A lot of ideas has crossed her mind about what she'd like to do now, follow her mother path and start a career in Law, even Rick had suggested her to open an office and be a private investigator. She had to tell him among their night encounters, they kept no secrets to one another anymore, that is an unvoiced promise between them.

They decided to take it quietly, no PDA in public. She went to the Hamptons as a friend and so stayed officially in the guest room, but truly the room was mostly empty all the time. He has kept her entertained showing her the surroundings in the mornings, cooking lunch together, having spend time with Martha or Alexis outside their home in the afternoons, and in the nights she has sneaked into his room in silent. They had talked about themselves, not only work, how both felt as single children, their wild teen years, of which he now knows she wasn't joking about the tattoo, still she hadn't told him about the importance of his books in her life, but he gets an idea knowing one of her tattoos is a chess _tower_. She managed to know the points where to kiss him to melt him instantly. And he does too. Every morning they have awaken together, in a tangle of limbs and sheets, and the morning session begun, and at night they had fallen asleep together all sated. He has been always a gentleman to her, _always waited_ for her approval before going next step, held her gaze while becoming one every time, he has always kept it romantic, take their time to explore each other even when she at times wanted to be fast and rough driven by passion and lust, becasue she trust him to let herself driven that way, but he has always brought a melting caress and kiss to make it gentle. He loves her and simply makes love to her every single time.

She is lucky to have him, finally have him, Rick, the real gentleman that _has been waiting her_ all this time, _the tower she needed_.

She goes downstairs and finds him with a shock on his face, a phone on his hand. The guest room photo on display, and he silently looked for her. She sits next to him out of the use and places her hand on his shoulder.

"What is going on Rick?" she whispers him.

"Oh I was just telling dad that i need he gets me a new memory card because my phone is full. You know graduation parties, a lot of pictures" says Alexis with a strange tone and giving them a look.

"Sure pumpkin we'll get you one, right?" he tries to evade.

" You know I'm not a kid anymore, right dad?" she looks at the couple.

"Yeah I know. You are moving tomorrow. I haven't forgotten that pumpkin" she breaths out annoyed.

"You can tell me dad", Martha gaves her a look.

"Tell you what?" he says nervously. Kate squeezes his hand, he looks at her, she smiles, nods and stands behind him.

"You could make a good cop, you know that, though I can see ME work is better. You are not a kid anymore and your dad is very aware and proud of you, so am I" says the brunette, all heads looking at her, surprised. The young one smiles proudly of what she said. The brunette look at him again and he stands with her.

"Ok pumpkin, what do you want to know that you don't know already?" he says joyfully.

After giving them a look, learnt from doctor Parrish, she brightens and hug them both " That's just ... wonderful. All fine, right? Since when?"

"When she got suspended. A week or so ago." the couple answer together.

"Really, only a week ago darling? Don't fool us, you've been chasing each other since the first time you laid eyes on each other" says Martha who joins in the congratulations.

"Listen Alexis, I love your father and I want you to know that I'm very sorry for what I did to your dad in the past, and that won't happen again I promise, and he is always yours, no matter what will happen he'll be always beside you, Ok?" adds the brunette to the young one.

"I know detective" she refers hesitantly "I know and I won't steal him too much, I promise" Kate blushes a bit and Rick looks at the two women proudly.

"So I was thinking after we pack, how does a Temptation Lane marathon sounds? What do you think Kate? Would you like to join?" says him.

"I wouldn't miss it Rick" and they kiss.

They enjoy the afternoon with the marathon, all women gathering on the couch, the red-haired together and Rick holding Kate. It doesn't feel strange for any of them, still the couple keep their PDA low, just hold hands, whisper, kiss on the cheek. Rick feels glad and lucky to be with the **one** he's been loving for so long. He can't quite say exactly since when he's fallen for her. Was it on their kidnap case? Seeing her with the kid was so familiar, and he is a family man after all, despite his play boy persona he is a romantic home man. She's adviced him about his daugther, and she's been right all the time. He is sure she'll be a great mother. He loves her like he has never loved anyone. He had suffered for her what nobody had made him suffer before. The one that loves you more will make you cry. He has cried for her, for not be brave to tell her, and then when she lied. But here they are and the past doesn't matter, not now. The last week has been magical, he has accepted her rules, he has given her some ground, bring her to her senses, giving her time to decide about what to do with the job and still has challenged her with his random suggestions, if just to make her smile, because now she smiles at him heartfully each time he says something that in other times would had pissed her. Not anymore. They have slept together all nights since she knocked his door, enjoying each other warmth, caress and kisses. Not only having sex, which they have daily. She enjoys to caress his hair, he enjoys she kisses his neck just above his earlobe, which drives him crazy. He has explored and mapped her body, every single inch, every night and every morning, he has made her melt with his misnistrations, with his eyes on fire with lust and love. Because no matter how much they've built passion for each other every time there has been always love. He doesn't hurry and keeps it gentle, feeling wholly connected with her, sight, caress, kisses, skin to skin, whispers, building their paradise. And nothing else matters. He is thankful he has finally managed to cross her _wall_, he sure can _sit on her wall_ now, thought every brick is down, after it made them _drift in circles_, and he had felt the last one to drop on his feet when he said he was **done** it was over, but truth is the remains are now ready to build their future together.

He has worshiped her every time they have been alone, whispering her his love, they have _drown on their love_ together. He has even read to her his new chapters, his chin on her shoulder, she holding the pages, and he using his bedroom voice, the one she only hears now, which melts her every time and leads them to put into practice the steamy scenes he has written, a _colourful dream_ of which _none want to ever wake up_.

But now they do, Rick and Kate have to head back to New York.

END CHAPTER 2

_Checked for spelling and grammar and I hope are OK. Slightly inspired by a self-titled song from the same author as the previous chapter since this story is 'told' through his music. The text in italics through the chapter are words of his song, slightly changed. Reviewers, too long chapters?Like where it's going? I can advance chapter 5 will be much more M rated._


	3. Haunted Home

**Disclaimer: the usual, I own nothing. **Sorry for late update, but I was developing KTCR story. This one will make another one too, called Brick by brick.

Rick drives back home on his SVU, Kate next to him after the insistence of the red-haired which are on the back of the car, smiling wide every time the couple brushes fingers. Alexis hadn't seen her father that happy in years, and although she is nervous that she is moving to Columbia she knows she leaves her dad in good hands. She will go home from time to time looking for his advice, and hers too. Rick offers to stop by Kate's place first, but Martha resolves go directly home.

They head to their respective rooms and start to unpack. Rick and Kate in his room.

"So, how can I help you?" she offers timidly. He is unpacking and placing his clothes on his closet.

"Don't worry, you are my guest. Just relax." he resolves smiling.

"Really? After the amazing week you've given me you expect me to wait hand in hand?" she grabs one of his bags and starts to unpack aswell, following his actions placing the clothes in their places, though she doesn't know them, and they stumble on each other twice.

"I told you to just relax." she gives him a look.

"Right, I'm suspended, but let's say I'm on holidays instead. It doesn't mean i can't be useful" she turns bothered, he stops her holding her arm and gently make her look at him.

"I will never say that Kate. We had a great week now we are back in the city. I'm always here for you. We'll find things to do while you wait to be back at work" he caress her cheeks tenderly.

"You know I may finally resign, right? I can't put myself in that job again. It'll all be over."

"What is gonna be over, honey? You have yet some weeks to reflect freely upon that. I told you I'll support you on whatever you decide Kate, I love you. You know what that means, don't you?"

"I do, but what if I don't go back to the precint? What will you do? This is all messy already" she starts to pace along the room.

"Mess can get tidy up. I can adapt. We will be fine." he brings her to his chest letting her cry.

In that moment Alexis comes around bringing him a jacket that she had pack in her bag by mistake.

"Dad, you misplaced that. Oh I'm sorry. Anything's wrong?" says the girl concerned.

The brunette separates from his shoulders and busies herself unpacking his bag. Rick goes to his office with her daugther.

"She is fine. Is just being back has overwhelmed her. Getting concious of her situation"

"Ok, but she has you now. I thought she'd be happy." the girl shares a confident look and leaves.

"I'm sorry it won't happen again." says Kate before he approaches and hugs her gently.

"Is OK. You are overwhelmed. I understand." he whispers.

"I'm still a mess" she sobs on his chest, he moves placing her head on his shoulder, she pulls back.

"I'm yours. My shoulder is yours, whenever you need. You are perfect. For me. I'm not with you for your dazzling smile, that's a bonus. I'm with you because you are a wonderful woman. You don't hide, you face anything. And I want to be with you in any moment, be it good or bad."

"That's not fair" she sobs "After all I've done. The harm I caused you"

"What are you talking about? You know how much I owe you? You made me a better person Kate. I will always be grateful for that. Just let me thank you back every day, is all I ask, whether the sun decides to shine or not upon our way."

After a moment when she composes herself, they keep unpacking, he being more gentle with her. Soon they are done and head to the kitchen. The red-haired are preparing dinner.

"Well I'll head back to my place" says the brunette holding her bag.

"Nonsense darling. You are staying at least for dinner. I don't accept denial." says the older one.

"Please, we'd like you here. That's your place too." says the young one surprising her father.

"I don't want to burden" insist Kate.

"Never. C'mon here darling" the old one approaches and hugs her whispering "The girl is right."

They set after Kate help the woman cook and prepares desert with Rick, making her more relaxed and smiling. After having dinner, Kate and Rick do the dishes, and he tries to convince her to stay.

"So, what about a wine? I have a special one waiting for you"

"I'm glad you do, but is getting late"

"Why the hurry? You can stay in tonight. You have your pijamas in your bag, right?"

"Rick really, I want to get home and relax. Think of the weeks ahead"

"Tell me what you need." she gives him a look "To make this home for you. That's your place too. We can think of the weeks together, over the fireplace having wine"

"You are quite insistant just to get me to your bed again, don't you? They know we are together now, that doesn't mean we shall be like bunnies, Richard"

"I'm just looking forward to relax chatting with my girlfriend, that's all. We'll have to head to Columbia early. I bet Alexis is counting down the hours to leave. I've given her a good place"

"More reason for me to head back to my apartment Richard. Is your day tomorrow, not mine"

"As is mine, I want you to be there too. I'm sure she wants too. You've bond pretty well last week."

"Ok, but don't get used to it. I yet have my place."

"Yay. So pick the wine, I'll be back in a moment. I'm chosing a movie."

They sat in the couch, cuddling her and having sips of a red wine while watching a comedy. As the movie finishes he still insisted her to stay.

"You said you'd stay. Plus you are not well relaxed yet. I would be a bad boyfriend if i'd let you out like that. What can you lose?"

"The respect of your women?"

"Why are you so convinced we'll end screaming tonight?"

"Because we will. If i know you well"

"I think you hadn't peeled Castle's onion yet. We'll have fun doing so" he holds her hand and take her to his bedroom, picks her lacy gown for later and head her to the bathroom where he runs the water. He undress both and both enter the tub, she lays on his chest while he embraces her.

"Isn't that a lot better? More relaxing?" she smiles relaxed "I'm glad you let me love you as you deserve" He rubs her back and shoulder. After they wash each other and before the water gets cold, both head to bed. His hand lays on her belly hers on his chest as they fall asleep.

The next morning they head soon to Columbia. There Alexis meets with some of her friends, including Brian which finally introduces to her father.

While Kate, Rick, Brian and Alexis take the boxes and bags of the girl to her assigned dorm Kate crosses by with someone that looks familiar. No it can't be. Sure is just her imagination playing her. She'd swear she just crossed with Maddox. But if he is, Alexis is in danger.

An hour later after the four have a snack together Rick and Kate head back to New York.

"Are you ok Kate? You seem a bit distracted." he asks brushing his fingers with hers.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I? Brian seems a nice guy."

"He better be."

"Like it or not, she'll do that some day Richard"

"Can we please change subject? There's things a father doesn't want to know or think about"

"Talking about father we could visit mine this weekend. You nervous?"

"The man knows me, why would I be nervous?" she nods.

"Well anyways I think now is the time when I finally get home"

"Mine is yours. Ok, I'll drive you home. But I'll miss your warmth tonight. I bet you too"

They drive to her place. When they enter her appartment the whole place is trashed, her bedroom window is open and the door doesn't seem forced.

"What the hell has happened here?" she rages, asks her doorman about and the man phone the police. Kate kneels down to pick the papers that are spread along the living room and the other rooms, her old therapy diary crack in pieces, pieces of her life. And the case of her mother is gone.

"Kate is evidence. You can't touch them"

"Rick they are traces of my life. I've lost too much, I won't let that go too"

He kneels with her and picks all the papers before the police arrives hidding them on his jacket.


	4. I know who we are

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_This chapter ends Brick by Brick and starts Barricade. The words in italics are references from two songs from the same author (this story is using the lyrics of the same singer), called Who are you and U know who I am._

Two weeks together and she is yet a mystery. Both feel relieved once she's shared her cross. He doesn't judge her, he can only feel compassion for her. He's had good luck, she not so much. So his determination to make her happy grows stronger. He promised himself that the day she interrogated him. He decided he will make her life easier. Is not easy to keep on it knowing how she is. She would run at random and not tell him. It remind him the case were he told her "let's pretend we are married". He answer left a door open to his expectations "i don't want to pretend". She is is so stubborn. He likes that even when that put them in danger many times. He can't say he is any better.

Yet he's tried to be the best for her. Anything she needs he will concede. At least she is not curling herself, getting drunk or running away. She's told him. That's a step forward. She trusts him.

How can their lifes be so similar and different at the same time? Both are only child. She grew in a loving family, his were more disfuncional, his mother was absent some days and he had no father figure. Her mother never told him who his father is. He didn't investigate much. May be that's what made his imagination that interesting. He liked to think many open ideas about who his father was. He is very attached to her daughter, he's been a good father.

They spend the night cuddling in bed, no words are said. And thankfully she stops crying as soon as she sees pure love in his eyes. She was confused at first. She is not used to that kind of loving. None her previous partners were like Rick. He can care just for her a whole week, even when he is burning inside, just because he knows is not the right moment to be dirty, just intimate showing her his affection. She on the other hand used to solve her messed feelings going rogue, drinking, or hooking up with someone. She wouldn't express her feelings as clearly as she's done tonight.

He's teaching her how to love someone. No funny business involved and she is grateful for that.

They are almost asleep in each other arms. She's removed his clothes, both bare in bed.

He reflects on the moment he met her. May be was his daughter words what encouraged him to be interested in that brunette. "That's new".

He is sure, more now than before. _Since he saw her he wanted her_. He's learnt that _she is the one_ for him. He can't deny her effect on him, when s_he can see right through him_, predict his thoughts. He _gets sad_ when he remembers _the bullet_ that almost _take her _away from him. The only think that almost take her from him._ He did fear _for her, he wondered how to approach her, to help her, and he still does but he tries his best because he truly _love her_. _Her smile_ is all he needs in reward. He's _been strong for so long_ he can't believe it himself. He normally would had given up on his interest with another woman, not with Kate. Because she truly _means so much to him._

They've faced _danger,_ they've _walked through _together. And _not everybody did understand _their relationship, he's advanged _stage by stage into her heart_. He knows_ he can't finish her book,_ he will _never reach the end,_ and the more he'll _read her pages _he won't be close to the end. He's _dreamed about her_ so many times he thought _he was senseless_. He doesn't care if he no longer know who he is, the matter is her. They are finally together, finally ready to advance to whatever life brings them.

They know they are in danger, but they are ready to _defend themselves against any risk_. She's brought the _light_ to his life, even in the dark _nights_, she kept him focused. All he needed was a focus to lead his life and she's got that. He had to _swallow_ many tears, not anymore. They _will rise against_ any problem. They've almost died in each other arms many times, it's not going to happen again, he knows that _deep inside his soul_. He is not _sad _anymore, he will _fix_ any fear that may haunt her just to keep seeing her _beautiful smile_.

"I'm a lie Rick. I'm so trouble. I didn't admit to myself. I'm broken." she says in a sad voice.

"Honey I know who we are. We can fix this together. I promise we will" he assures her.

They are together that's what matters. But for how long? How many bumps are on the road ahead?


	5. Owner of her heart

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

_This chapter goes after Barricade's 5th. I update this story because it keeps getting alerts. Thanks a lot!_

_My original idea was the chapter to end the other story as the others did, but since Barricade takes two weeks I decided to update that one. They go in the order I originally predicted._

_Again it partially uses lyrics of the same titled song by the same singer. You know who he is?_

_The words in italic are part of the lyrics. The chapter is Rick's dream. Good or bad?_

Rick was trying to get some sleep. Last night was difficult. He normally is nervous before he has to take a plane and get on tour. He normally worries things won't go well. In the past he'd done some trick to numb that feeling. Get out, get busy. But now he feels comfortable cuddling his girlfriend. Finally is his girlfriend. He still can't believe it sometimes.

He would get smutty but is not in the mood for it. He really don't know why. He could go with a smile on the plane, but is sure it'll turn bittersweet because he will miss her even more.

He is alone in a hotel suit. Paula rented it. It has two bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom and a living room. If it would have a library Rick would feel almost like home. But this one reminds him of his hotel experience with Kate a year ago. He takes mental note to take her to a trip.

He still fears to mess it up with her. He won't pardon himself if that happens.

Paula has kept him quite busy since he landed. Talks, meet-ups, visits. He hadn't stop a minute. He feels a bit guilty when is Kate who phones around midnight. He didn't had time to tell her he had arrived yet. He has to make it up for her. Well she has the secret envelopes but that doesn't count because that was some surprise he had planned before he took the plane.

There's still a ghost haunting the back of his mind. His over active imagination keeps curiously guessing about Smith's death. Not just because it means Kate's life is in danger but because he would swear under a sacred stone that young Smith looks familiar to him, he still doesn't know who is exactly but he swears he's seen him when he was younger.

He had dinner with his colleagues Patterson and Connelly with whom he'll share a panel next day.

He got his silk pale turquoise PJ on and went to bed after speaking with Kate and texting Alexis.

Kate gifted him that pair. More reason to miss her.

She won't accept to let him spoil her rotten, so he has to get used she tries to spoil him too. He brough the Saavedra fountain pen that she gifted him the first event they slightly went public, that book fair at The Hamptons while they were on vacation for a week, almost two weeks ago.

Things are moving, not too fast nor to slow. It just flows naturally.

He slumbers and his mind drifts into his fantasies. At least this time he doesn't appear in the woods.

He arrives in a room to be welcomed by a so Nikki-like Kate. Her clothes so thin and short, so suggestive, so slutty.

She_ throws _him_ a smile, carelessly. _She walks _swaying her hips. _He sees pure_ lust _in her eyes. Can he _fall _more for her?His_ heart _is full_ of love _for that woman_. She said "come over here". _He_ walked wondering_ and _he trips. _He skips the fallholding _right into_ the top of the couch. Far behind in his memory rest his old use of _renting cars_ and _rooms_, _running fast_, while _whisper_s of two_ loveless heads _fill _the room. _It makes him_ cringe _now. The past when he has almost _no rules_ on that matter. He knows back then he was quite _empty _inside. This current creature in front of him has changed him for better, even as she is now that kinky, throwing naughty looks and suggestives gestures at him _fully bloomed _as she sensually dances_, _a sin to all senses. She pretty well knows what is doing. He slightly_ knows what she'll d_o. She's never been like that before, for real.

"_You_" _she whispers_ placing _her lips_ by his ear. He swears it echoed _all around_. Her voice _flows_ through his body. Far way stays the subject of the _dragon _that haunted his dreams last night. _She is tough, _even in _the room_. It makes him still _wonder_ if _he can be the true owner of her heart_.

"why don't you" she said whispering on his neck. Her mouth closer to his skin. His blood boils, no more thoughts of cruel death. He no longer feels cold despite her studied and controlled gestures. He knows he is doomed. He doesn't fear or complains. She rests his hands on her waist and breast. He rubs his finger pads and then she turns inside her lair. "You may see me through but won't be the owner of my heart" then she she runs. The game has just begun. He can feel it so real despite she's never been that kinky. Will she ever do something like that?


	6. Silent Raging

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_AN: This chapter goes after Barricade's 7th._

_Is quite M-rated. Song parts at the end this time (Silent Void / This Raging Light)._

She's managed to be calm, although her hands never separated from his for long. They went to the hotel. She had set her bag in the joint bedroom. Really? Rick thought. They got on a dress. He wanted to make the night special and setted a date. He took her to a not too fancy restaurant. Her eyes on him all the night, as his on hers. How could they be needing that for so long?

They update each other on the last news. It's been just a day since they last talked long, how can they need much to update?

He offers her his loft terrace to set a garden, even if using only flowerpots. She finds it cute. She notices his efforts to let her have her times yet approach her to his life.

He covers the order. She doesn't fight it this time.

She's told him about Espo getting back on duty the next day. That's the only moment when his brows furrowed. He is yet suspicious on the latino.

She has decided to get back on duty the next week. She promised him she won't dig in her or her mother's case. He didn't ask her to. Yet he is not sure if she is safe.

On the other side of the table the one that worries her is her boss. Is the boss but that doesn't mean she has to know all she knows before hand, right? And what about the commisioner? Why nobody she knows seems to have ever seen the man?

Both lie, none of them share their worries, not tonight. Was not the moment for that.

All was soft until they crossed his suite room. She advanced straigh to her room. He follow her with his eyes lingering on her shape. He can sense what is coming next.

"Could I use some help here?" she asks him from her room. He enters quick.

He glances at her briefly. Her eyes full of lust, making him freeze in confusion because her gestures are gentle, just a bit seducing. May be is only his crazy imagination. After all he's had a mental break down just a couple days ago. He can only blame fear. Fear for her safety. He's seeing snippers everywhere.

He unzips her dress exploring every exposed inch with his eyes, his tongue wetting his lips.

"So where is she staying?" she suddenly ask him drifting him off his thoughts.

"Who?" he asks distracted. She expected he'd gone all tiger on her by now after her suggestion.

"Paula. Isn't she touring with you?"

"Kate, there's nothing with her. She is just my agent" he explains.

"Rick I know. You see me any bit jealous?" she approaches her mouth to his ear "I'm just asking in case we have neigbours complaining about the noise here" she glances at his excited eyes "soon" and she trails her index along his neck as she licks his earlobe.

"Do you really want to know how sound proof those rooms are?" he sucks her lower lip, his hands on her waist bringing her closer to him. Then it hit him harder, she is almost naked in front of him.

"I thought you had tested that already" she teases.

"Not this one and not with you" he lets her feel how much his body has missed her those days.

"Weren't you all teenager a few days back?" she asks him rubbing his shoulders.

"Yeah. You make me younger" he grins as his hands roam her back. "Why?" he asks.

"I thought teenagers take care of it willingly" she teases brushing her thigh against his.

"I'm not truly a teenager." he sucks at her pulse point making her moan. He lingers on her smell, the soft of her skin under his touch and walks her to bed. She stands on the bed and unbutton his shirt kissing along her way, sitting bending her knees as she gets to his stomach. He's been feeling her front meanwhile and squirms as he feels her soft lips on his skin. So dangerously missed.

She feels his butt and quickly his pants are left on the floor and he crawls in bed.

As he leans next to her she feels his butt again and trails her fingers along his thighs making him take a couple sharp breaths. Her hand sneaks under his boxers and stroke him gently.

"Kate" he breaths as he tries to stop her. He's never seen that tigress on her before. So decided.

"I thought he missed me" she casually says as she licks her lips. He can't take it. His head hit the pillow for a second.

"I don't want to embarrass myself." he breaths ghostling her lips.

"I thought you believe third time is a charm" she winks as she strokes him faster. He rubs his hands on his face. She is going to kill him tonight. He can't help but squirm. He tries to think of anything else. Forget the feel of her skin on his. He reels on the mistakes of his past. So many. He hasn't yet told her a quarter of them. He is so lucky to have her. He couldn't stop thinking about her since he firstly lied eyes on her, how he'll stop now? He shut his eyes closed tight.

She rubs her fingers on his hands and forced them away his face.

"Open your eyes Rick" she whispers in a low voice. He is going to die but obeys.

"You are killing me" he groans.

"You sure I'm not letting you reborn?" she says with a smile. How can she do that? Be that soft in a moment like that. She has always have to be that opposite to him.

"What did I do?" he tries to control his body, stop bucking, even his breathing "To deserve you"

"Same here. I guess you are a good digger. You found the best of me." she winks as she continues.

"God no, please, please stop" his body shaking in anticipation. He can't believe he hasn't exploded.

"Tonight is my game" she teases. He grabs her wrists stopping her as he takes control kissing her, making her lay on the bed as he unclasps her bra.

"Lady, you needed to be punished" he suddenly remembers his words on their last call.

"Yeah, because I've been a very bad girlfriend." she purrs on her russian accent. His mind blurs due to her naughty tone. She spreads her legs and he trails his finger along her wetness above her ruined panties.

"You are so evil" he growls.

"You have no idea." she purrs again "You leaving made the tigress take control. May she needs some taming." he sucks at her nipples greedily. He pepper kisses along her stomach until in a quick move he removes her last garment. He let her scent invade his senses. He is throbbing for her. She licks her lips loving his aroused features. She feels powerful knowing she causes that effect on him.

He feasts on her juices. He loves it. She bucks her hips off the mattress moaning loudly.

"Keep quiet." he commands, she tries to obey but in a couple minutes she moans his name loundly again. He presses her hips back to the mattress and look at her sternly, a mischievous smile.

"You keep quiet, I rage all night long" he challanges. Oh the old game of throwing a bet.

"Looking forward to the third, charming boy." she winks at him.

He feast on her wetness again. Keeping quiet make her shake her body even more. He licks her clit in a way he knows drives her crazy. Her knees clasps around his head. He knows she is very close and spreads her legs again. She throws him a death glare. "I'm gonna kill you tonight" she hisses almost crying tears. He smirks and sucks her greedily making her cross the edge. His hands holding her thighs in prevention of her closing her legs around him. Instead he rests her ankles on his shoulders as he helps her ride it out by keeping his tongue flat where she so needs it.

He stills looking at her. He loves her damp hair, the glistening sweat drops on her cleavage, her flushed skin, her angelical face after doing so sinful activities. That face he only sees.

He grips her butt roughly. He knows for some reason is how she wants it tonight. She moans as he brushes his tip over her folds. He enters her. Just the tip, he rocks his hips and draws back.

"Don't stop" she orders.

"Is my time to punish you. Is what I'll do" he kiss her cleavage and holds her legs again. He approaches her hips to his. His knees on the mattress. "Is going to be a long torture"

"Don't expect better from me" she warns him.

"That would be a disappointment my lady" he states. "Looking for the charming third aswell" he softens. Both knowing the third will be much more the usual them, loving and slow. But now they are far too worked up, too burnt inside. For days. He is glad she's taking the lead step into that path. He wanted to be rough, so driven by passion since he met her. Just before that moment finally happens he had fallen in love with her and respected her too much to even ask that.

He drives himself in excrutiatingly slow, rocking his hips as he advances, emulating a drill. She sighs hardly. He is so going to pay her back for not letting her be vocal. Planning her revenge makes her more horny. Let's face it they are horny tonight.

Finally he is all in and starts moving long and hard. She squirms beneath him. Her back archs upwards each time he buries deeper in. Soon they fall into the mattress all sweaty and relaxed. His hand seeking her and lacing fingers together as their breath evens out.

"I love you" he whispers looking in her eyes. She caress his cheek looking tenderly into his eyes.

"Me too." she smiles and then pats his shoulder "Now, make us some snack"

He gives her a look. He knows they left the restaurant full.

"Just to give us some time and strenght for a second round" she explains.

He obeys and prepare them a milkshake and sandwishes. Meanwhile she takes a quick shower and then meets him in the living room. She straddle him passing him her plate.

"Feed me" she orders and he does. She teases him licking her lips slowly after each bite. She then rests on his lap letting her warmth center to be sensed by his skin. He knows she is just building the next round.

She wrap herself on him, making him stand, picks the dishes and leave them in the small counter. Then she french kiss him, knowing the effect she is causing again on him. His hands on her lower back, roaming to her butt.

"The kitten has become a tiger" she teases him.

"You know you are going to worn me out for tomorrow, don't you?" he informs her.

"You are mine tonight." she grinds herself on him making him moan. She keeps on getitng rougher. He tries to walk them to the bed but she moves him to the next forniture. She gets leverage on a shelf as he sits on a wooden box. She rides him frenzily. As he moans louder she bites his neck.

"Keep quiet" she orders.

"Pay back?" he asks.

"No. That'll be doing you all night until you reach an orgasms as the one you got me before"

"Dear Lord" he breaths holding her tight, approaching her closer to him.

"But no teenager would run that long. So hold on" she orders as she rides him faster.

He can feel her walls gripping him tight. He won't make it. He tries to obey. He loves it when she is in control. He loves to see her that driven. So crazy for him. He pulls her down as quickly as he feels she push up leaving just his tip inside her. She groans each time. She sucks on his earlobe making him shut his eyes. She french kiss him taking his breath away and making him stare at her as she rides him harder, her walls so tight on him as the friction melt their insides fully. Their moans swallowed by each other mouth. They were not conscious that their movement sent a dry knock to the next suite through their wild love making.

When they regain some composure they burst into laughter as the next suite neigbour shout them to be quiet. What a liar? they think. They've been quiet.

They go back to bed. They cuddle tenderly. Their mushy words making them tender and they go for the third. Sweetly making love. Not caring of the time, no rush to the end. They lost track of time at all and aren't conscious this time it took them over a couple hours to cross the edge.

They sleep calmer than ever. They will last. He _felt it closer_. The _rage_ in her eyes back at the book sign. She knows his _love_ words are true. They are crossing the _bridge_ to their land together, _building_ their future as one. The one they can _almost touch_. No _void_, no secrets anymore. Their hearts just _beat _for each other. No _black holes_ where to hide. He much _rather be with_ her all days, he finally _got her_. He's been a _rolling stone_ all his life, a _play_er even. Until now, after he saw her almost _dead_ he changed. To_ fit her scheme_. He's _drawn her pain away_. He lead her to a_ light_. _Falling into the sound of their music. _He won't even _be on his own _anymore. No _blame thrown_.

They have just a couple hours left to sleep until the sun rises.


End file.
